canvas

I am envisioned, planned, designed, articulated, presumed, made, created, designated, orchestrated, then admired, by the Trinity.

And so is every living creature.

From our first breath to our last gasp.

We are admired.

From our first mistake to our ending accomplishment.

We are admired.

From our all hidden sins to our unseen forgiveness.

We are admired.

With the ones who hate us and without the ones who love us.

We are admired.

With everything we always wanted to everything we never had.

We are admired.

By needing what's invisible yet always wanting what is.

We are admired.

By the trash we surround ourselves in or the trophy's we never win.

We are admired.

In the center of no one and on the out side of everyone.

We are admired.

In the kingdom's of our ego and in the depths our shame.

We are admired.

The Trinity blesses us each and every morning with a new palette of colors, fresh ideas, vivid mediums, and with the words,

"We can't wait to see what beautiful artistry you will paint for Us today.
We admire your handiwork"!

When we mirror Theirs, who are us, where ever we look the reflections are amazing.

Not "Can Be" or "Will Be" but "Are".

That is how we are to see the world and everyone on it: Their Canvas.

I love art!!

strength

just got off work. went very well. one of my best nights ever. and the Holy Spirit revealed to me a heightened addition and supplication toward renewing my mind and giving me peace. it is not fully realized but i am sure of this de ja vu and what is changing within it. the Trinity is fighting so much for me. i applaud Their vigor and candor. my strength only comes from the Lord. not from my hopes or aspirations. not from feeling forgiven by love or loved one or loved ones or me. my strength does not come from achievements, even if few, or mistakes, even if many. my strength does not come from my successes to adversities or my miss hap's to chance and luck. my strength comes from the only One who comforts me in need. and They ARE the only Onez who comfort me, entirely. i am so thankful for the love and care from such close friends. and even the new, their appreciation for who i am replaces the shit treatment the church has treated me with because of NOT for who i AM but for who they see me as. a failure. churches of the past have hardly comforted me. and only to condemn me. ever since waking up from a coma, i have worked my ass off trying to please church and religion and the god of man. censor jered censor jered censor jered. instead of comforting me when i woke from TBI and being thrown into a brand new world/dream/nightmare called PTSD, you churches and leaders and affiliates said this was my fault. so what is this peace i claim? because i never needed you church or churches or god of the churches. your god of the church is a voodoo doll. soulless. de ja vu? this time around there is "reason", founded on the trust of my heavenly experience. with the help of Doctor Paul Fitzgerald, a verified true man of the Trinity, i am seen and heard and responded in love and care and detail. this is different from the mocking and scorn i dealt with from attempting to enter society as "recovered". this is a different late night. no racing demons to the basis of sleep. my mind is pretty clear that i am loved. and i believe i will stay up a little bit longer resting on that Truth!! a special shout out to other such worthy encouragers: Anita Popp Sandy Decker Christina Scott Tom Benjamin Jeff Dwyer Brad Hill. please keep praying you all. pray that my anger subsides and softens. i am now seeking the definition of my value. praises to the Most High (you know this is plural and not singular, right)? Word.

no sacrifice

Hebrews 10:18
And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary.

sins and lawless acts are remembered NO MORE people.
don't believe it?
how's that workin' for ya?
you livin' free?
or are ya just livin' FOR free?

you churchy people take for granted this truth.
you pastors!  you laymen!  you deacons!
you leaders!  you priests!  you teachers!
you all continuously ask for sacrifice after sacrifice after sacrifice and are blinded by your rejection of the Truth.
Truth in view.  Truth in your hearts.  but your hearts are only for your hearts.  NOT for the Lord's and you know this.

forcing sacrifice from sufferers.
forcing sacrifice from the blessed.
who do you think you are?
Jehovah knows and He will bring to light your dead seeds of darkness.

full of pity.  full of pity.

sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary!!

heed it.
and rejoice about it.
i soon will, but my anger is a sin of mine?
my anger is from being told over and over from "church" and it's "leaders" that it was MY fault i had an AVM.
i sacrificed and sacrificed and sacrificed for these last 15 years for what!?
i gained nothing.
you "church"'s still reject me and my sacrifices were never good enough for YOU!
you claim my sacrifices were never good enough for God!
i wasted 15 years, since waking, from what you told me was my FAULT!

today's church is NOT the "bride" or bride of Christ.
it is a whore.  run by pimps.

the True Church of Christ is inside believers and all around us, not in buildings made of wood and stone.

the True Church of Christ doesn't ask for sacrifice so that healing may occur.  my mother medicates me the instant she detects my need.
she is ready for it, not expecting it.
she has the attitude of a pleasant lady, not a peasant woman.
she smiles at me through my suffering, not from or because of my suffering.

and she never asks me to sacrifice anything for her attention.

curse your necessities.

praise the Trinity for we have been fully freed,
fully forgiven,
fully loved,
fully embraced,
fully seen,
fully heard.